For those days when you want to feel like a mental patient from the 80's

now the neighbors can dance in the police disco lights.....

Saturday, February 03, 2007

19 ways to maintain mental health

1. at lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.
2. page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.
3. everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".
5. put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.
6. in the memo fiels of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
7. finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
8. don't use any punctuation.
9. as often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. ask people what sex they are. laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. sing along at the opera.
13. go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. put mosquito netting around your work place and play tropical sounds all day.
15. five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "rock hard".
17. when the money comes out of the ATM, scream "i won, i won!"
18. when leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot screaming, "run for your lives, they're loose!"
19. tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go."



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